Whatever happened to customer service?

Remember when you could drive into a gas station, (they used to be called service stations) and stay in the car while someone filled up the tank, checked the oil and tires, washed the windshield, and thanked you for your business with a smile that said, "Ya'll come back now!" That was when gas cost about 50 cents a gallon and smiles were a lot more sincere.

Now, you pull up into a station, get out of the car and push a bunch of buttons, while reaching for the gas pump and your credit card in order to pay about $4 per gallon. Meanwhile, the person inside the establishment can be seen watching a television or reading a magazine. Of course, if you're under 30 you probably can't relate to my description of those halcyon days.

I remember when I used to place an order in a fast food restaurant and there was the ubiquitous sign on the counter that read: Please pay when served. Now, I order my burger, fries and coke, and the counter person with his or her hand held out, palm up, says, "That'll be $9.75." There I stand, with nothing in front of me but a request for money. Once the cash has been safely handed over, put in the register, and a receipt delivered, the order is filled. If you were to request that you receive your order before paying for it, they would probably stare at you as though you were an alien life form, illustrating, I suppose, the power of conformity.

Several years ago, I entered a Burger King and stepped up to the counter to place my order. Next to me, taking up an entire wall, was a poster that read: "Have it your way at Burger King." "Let me have a burger, medium rare," I said, licking my chops. "I'm sorry, sir, but all the burgers are made the same way," the young man said, pointing to a stack of cardboard cubicles containing the burned out discs of chopped meat on buns. I pointed toward the towering sign. "You mean to say that this company is spending millions of dollars telling people they can have it their way and I have to take one of those precooked concoctions?" Of course, it wasn't the kid's fault; he was just following directions. Yet, it was an example of the deceptive marketing practice and lack of service that we consumers have put up with for so long.

Take the Starbucks phenomenon for example. You pay about 4 bucks for coffee, up front of course, then they hand you a cardboard cup and point toward some urns. For 4 bucks they ought to grind it fresh in front of you, pour it into a ceramic mug, add the cream and sugar, and deliver it to you at your table with a linen napkin. But, why should they? You're not going to complain about the level of service; are you? Most people are too intimidated to say anything that might put them out of step with all the other lemmings in their midst. Besides, isn't it just so incredibly fashionable to be sipping exorbitantly priced java in a trendy café with your pinky held aloft?

Have you noticed that television commercials are getting longer? Including station breaks, we now have more than one-third of each hour dedicated to selling us something. Been to the movies lately? Remember when it was the one place you could go to escape a marketing barrage? It's not enough that the price of a ticket has soared to a national average of about $10, but in addition, before you have the privilege of watching the flagrantly priced flick, you are held captive while several commercial products dance merrily across the silver screen and embed themselves securely into your buying habits. Hence, you've paid a premium price for the prerogative of having Coca Cola, M&M's, and Citibank make a sales call on you in your seat.

How did it get so out of control? Did you ever give the theater permission to surreptitiously insert ads into the evening's movie format? Some have said it offsets the price of admission. Baloney! When we were paying a fraction of the current price we could enjoy a couple of hours of cinematic enjoyment in a commercial-free zone. Maybe the theater owners need to get a better deal with the studios that release the films. Perhaps they could convince Tom Cruise to accept 10 instead of 20 million dollars per movie. What's he gonna do, quit the business? He'd have to own about a dozen Starbucks and a half-dozen Burger Kings to make that kind of money.

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